The time it took me 7 hours to get home.

And the time I almost just started walking home, thinking it might be faster than driving, in the middle of a ThunderSnow.
What’s a ThunderSnow?

Well, according to Wikipedia, it is a rare kind of thunderstorm with snow falling instead of rain.

And let me tell you. It is intense. It pretty much poured snow. POURED. We got a LOT of snow in a very little bit of time. They were not prepared for that. No one was.
I left my office at 3. Before it even started. It usually takes me an hour to get home on a normal, non-traffic day. I figured that that day would be traffic filled so I would try to get out at least a little bit ahead of the storm traffic.

I was wrong. Steve called and told me to take the Greenway. As much as I hate paying $5 to drive on a road I knew he was right. So I took it to go around some of the back roads I take to get to Rt. 7 (the main road I take to get home). I should have known I was in trouble when it took me 45 minutes to get from my office to 7. Which should really only have taken me like 10 going the way I did (ya know, provided there was no snow). But I should definitely have known something was SERIOUSLY wrong when I got to 7 and the traffic was STOPPED. I should have just kept going in the exit lane and gotten the hell off that road.

Because I chalked it up to the fact that there had been an accident (that I escaped by going the Greenway) I figured that we were just in the aftermath and once we got a few exits down that the road would clear up and I’d be on my way.

In the meantime, Steve and 2 of our neighbors decided to come get me so I didn’t have to drive over the mountain because I’m not so good with the driving in the snow thing. We had planned to meet at an exit passed Rt. 9. I was on the phone telling them that something was seriously wrong with traffic because I was in park and had been for a long time. PLUS. I had to pee. It was almost 5 and I’d been in the car for 2 hours and I hadn’t even gone 10 miles. I was not happy.

We move some. We park. We move some. We park. It was super frustrating. And remember? I had to pee. I didn’t know what to do. And I was seriously about to pee my pants. But I had just passed an exit. And by just I mean like 30 minutes ago. And I was so close to the next one. And by close I mean I could almost see it. Less than a mile. Seriously close. BUT PARKED. Not moving. At all.

Steve suggested getting out IN THE SNOW and peeing on the side of the road. I veto’d that. But I definitely kept it in the back of my mind. In emergency. Which I feared I was nearing. I actually feared that I would pee my pants and then no one would drive my car because my seat would have been soaked in pee. And I didn’t want to sit in pee. Steve suggest my coffee cup. I didn’t really want to because I like it and I’d like to use it again, but yeah I was so close to emergency that it wasn’t funny. AND THEN. I remember. There is a coffee cup in the back door that I don’t like to use for coffee because there’s something wrong with it (it made a clicky sound when I put hot liquid in it, so that’s not promising). TA-DA! I will pee in this cup. And then we move again. We are moving. No peeing in a cup for me.

And then we stop. Bummer. But at least I can pee. So I move the seat back, I de-pants myself, I position my cup. AND THEN WE MOVE. What are you kidding me?! Now? I am annoyed. So I re-pants, move my seat, and drive. AND THEN STOP. AGAIN. Ok, now I am really annoyed. Finally we stop long enough so I can pee. It felt really good. I really thought I was going to pee my pants. Especially after almost peeing twice. Either way? That coffee cup saved my seat. (I was really concerned how pee in my heated seats would affect the heating of the seats and that maybe they would not work and I’d have to take it to the dealer and tell them there was pee in my heated seats and they were broken).

During all of this, Steve and the neighbors were making their way towards me. They’d gotten to the next closest exit (remember, the one that I was about a mile from but stopped). They were figuring I’d never make it, so Todd (our neighbor. Best friend ever.) WALKED to me. More than a mile. IN THE SNOW. He’s seriously an amazing friend. He finally got to me (after helping people along the way get unstuck, or cleaned off the car, or giving them updates on the road). Then he decides he’s not sitting in this crap because no one is moving, so he pulled off to the shoulder and drove us to the exit. It took like 5 minutes. We met up with Steve and Sam and started to head home. BUT FIRST? Dinner. It was after 6. Close to 7 I think. (that’s 3+ hours in the car and 1 pee’d in cup). We stopped at a little pizza place in Leesburg and ate. Taking our time because the road I was just on? Now closed. Which was fine since we weren’t planning on getting back on it anyway. But those poor people. Were just sitting there. WITH NO HOPE of moving. Sucks.

We ate, then we headed home, and it was almost 8 (we’d had to help 1 lady get her car back in the parking space because she wasn’t going anywhere, then we had to get Sam out of her spot cause she’d gotten stuck).We opted for a back-road-ish way. We got stopped a in a little traffic, but it wasn’t actually that long so it wasn’t that bad. After that little bit of stopping we really were heading home. MOVING. It was amazing. We did have to stop for gas because WHO KNEW I’d use almost 1/2 a tank of gas on 1 ride home! We took some back way to get back on Rt. 7 – but further down. Passed the accident (which turned out to be a truck fire).

When we got on the road it was strangely empty. I mean it wasn’t all that strange, I knew they hadn’t gotten any of the road moving yet, but I’ve never seen it so empty. We were the only 2 cars on the road. Well, with the exception of all of the abandoned cars along the side of the road. We took it slow and steady because we didn’t want to get stuck and have it take any longer to get home than it already had.

We finally pulled in to the house around 10. 7 hours after I left my office. It was an awful ride home. But I couldn’t be more grateful for my friends/neighbors for getting in the car and coming to get me. I seriously don’t know what I would have done if they hadn’t. I don’t even want to think about how long it might have taken me to get home.

And I’ll never leave my house unprepared again. All winter long? There will be a go bag in my car. And a solo cup in the door. You know. Just so I don’t ruin my heated seats with pee.