Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Serving Six: The Reason.

I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. I’m both terrified and excited all at the same time. I don’t know where to begin, but I do. It’s hard. My story is hard. It is hard for me to talk about. It is sometimes hard for me to believe. I’m not sure if anyone will actually read this, or care, or enjoy it. I’m going to write it anyway. There are thoughts and feelings that I have to get out. I would like to help just one person. But if I can’t, maybe I can at least help myself. I don’t know if either will happen, but I have to try. I won’t know unless I try.

There will be a lot of raw and real emotion in some of my blog posts. And I'm not really sure how people will react to this. I'm hopeful that you guys will be kind to me. Some of you will probably not understand why I'm writing this. Or why I support him. Or why I feel, think, or do the things I do. And some of you might have pointed opinions about the kind of person that he is. Those are your opinions and you are free to have them. I can't stop you from posting them. I'm just asking that you respect me and my feelings. I'm fragile. Especially when it comes to this. And this is taking a lot of guts for me to actually put this out there. I'd really like it if you'd share my story and if you'd pass this on to anyone you think might want to read it. You don't have to if you don't want to, but like I said if I can help just one person then maybe this whole thing will have some meaning.

So here goes nothing.

My brother is a felon. He is currently serving on a 6 ½ year sentence for armed robbery. I'm going to take you through our journey. We’re 4 years in already, so I’ll be playing catch up for a while. The good, the bad, the everything. There will be stories about our phone conversation, about our visits, about what makes me miss him the most. The excitement and the let downs. Some things will be hard to read. There will be sad. There will be angry. But there will also be happy. It’s a strange balance. It is something I never thought I would have to deal with. Something I never thought I would go through in my entire life. I never imagined it. And I don’t know anyone else going through this. Well, outside of the people I’ve met visiting my brother. This is not something I would wish on anyone else, and it is not something I enjoy having to go through. But I don’t know if I would change the experience and how that has opened my eyes to a new life. And I hope to open yours. At least, I’m going to try.

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