Tuesday, December 8, 2009

This time it is for real.

I did something I have tried several times with absolutely no success in the past.

I quit smoking.

Yup, you read that right. And I’m really confident that it will actually stick this time.

Cross #95 off my list!

I won’t lie, I definitely had help. I used welbutrin to help me. I started it a week before my quit date (which was 11/9/09) and then I woke up that morning (it was a Monday) and I was a non-smoker. I thought the first day would definitely be the hardest since I didn’t even cut back or tone it down or anything during my week of meds. I made it through my first day just fine. It was SUPER long though. I did not realize work day was SO long because I didn’t take a smoke break every hour. As a long time (and heavy) smoker it was pretty amazing that I didn’t have any cravings from day one. I didn’t think about it.

The biggest thing I noticed is how bad it smells. Seriously, I have smelled like that for most of my life. Ew. And for the non-smokers I ever smoked around I am sorry. It has been really hard to handle being around, and not because I want one but because it is really awful. I’m starting to get used to smelling it on Steve, but he is still not smoking in the car with me or around me because it is still bothering me. And I appreciate that every so much! He’s been super supportive and I’ve really needed it (and I hope one day I have the chance to support him when he quits…)

I am taking this medicine for the full 3 months because I really want this to stick. When I get through this medicine and these 3 months I am hoping that it won’t be on the forefront of my mind, but it has been a huge part of my life for so long that it is kind of hard not to “want” one when I have a drink or when I’m bored or stressed or any of my triggers. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t actually want one and I have no craving or actual desire to smoke I just have a desire for that break it gave me. I think I have overcome the craving/need to smoke, but it will be the actual habit I have formed over the years that will be the toughest to break. I intend to do it and never smoke again. Overall, I am really glad I did this and am having such success.

Wish me luck!

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